How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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