you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
