i just wanna soil my oats bro
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
