We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
