You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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