Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
