I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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