Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
