Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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