So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
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we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
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I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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