So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
no you cant smoke seaweed
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Randomize
