Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
