How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.