Texts From Last Night

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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'

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  (704): ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked' http://tfl.nu/xvcv
  Replies (39) Good night (751) Bad night (6791)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Little spoons don't ask big questions

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  (330): Little spoons don't ask big questions http://tfl.nu/13tl
  Replies (18) Good night (4387) Bad night (791)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex

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  (570): the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex http://tfl.nu/q8xg
  Replies (28) Good night (4439) Bad night (781)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else

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  (253): just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else http://tfl.nu/tjvf
  Replies (12) Good night (796) Bad night (3859)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm

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  (203): too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm http://tfl.nu/fqzs
  Replies (43) Good night (1244) Bad night (4075)
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  (714): View more from California

  we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.

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  (714): we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career. http://tfl.nu/cw5m
  Replies (18) Good night (791) Bad night (3778)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.

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  (417): She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit. http://tfl.nu/3bxb
  Replies (21) Good night (3811) Bad night (1349)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.

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  (440): I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire. http://tfl.nu/vw34
  Replies (11) Good night (3144) Bad night (781)
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  (619): View more from California

  After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?

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  (619): After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult? http://tfl.nu/q3fi
  Replies (22) Good night (635) Bad night (3218)
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  (209): View more from California

  I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.

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  (209): I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy. http://tfl.nu/05b3
  Replies (2) Good night (491) Bad night (1067)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.

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  (320): Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later. http://tfl.nu/4ix3
  Replies (8) Good night (1328) Bad night (501)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.

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  (321): You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again. http://tfl.nu/b1s4
  Replies (2) Good night (584) Bad night (1167)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I need a hug and tequila

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  This is why we need to live in the same city again

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  (865): I need a hug and tequila (615): I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now (865): This is why we need to live in the same city again http://tfl.nu/bxgt
  Replies (1) Good night (970) Bad night (312)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.

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  (202): As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point. http://tfl.nu/0upo
  Replies (2) Good night (1006) Bad night (231)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.

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  (205): I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again. http://tfl.nu/ogwa
  Replies (9) Good night (895) Bad night (419)

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