Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.

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  (301): I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you. http://tfl.nu/0isu
  Replies (25) Good night (1067) Bad night (2848)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.

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  (612): I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children. http://tfl.nu/5wvk
  Replies (16) Good night (3348) Bad night (1002)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n

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  (540): david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n http://tfl.nu/9r0h
  Replies (15) Good night (3256) Bad night (879)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session

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  (401): So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session http://tfl.nu/9nzb
  Replies (111) Good night (1364) Bad night (6949)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away

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  (404): hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away http://tfl.nu/s83j
  Replies (6) Good night (3970) Bad night (1039)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka

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  (719): he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka http://tfl.nu/p67g
  Replies (13) Good night (1092) Bad night (5813)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?

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  (513): He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like? http://tfl.nu/ctij
  Replies (17) Good night (4776) Bad night (1187)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?

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  (678): Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon? http://tfl.nu/v3dn
  Replies (6) Good night (2379) Bad night (957)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.

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  (248): My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work. http://tfl.nu/6xpg
  Replies (8) Good night (649) Bad night (1223)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.

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  (864): If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up. http://tfl.nu/qg7h
  Replies (11) Good night (2549) Bad night (1029)
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  (916): View more from California

  When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.

  (1-916): View more from California

  Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off

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  (916): When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong. (1-916): Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off http://tfl.nu/emwi
  Replies (3) Good night (1449) Bad night (636)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Of course you are.

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  (860): This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings. (540): Of course you are. http://tfl.nu/lyfi
  Replies (4) Good night (980) Bad night (446)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship

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  (414): it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship http://tfl.nu/ya21
  Replies (1) Good night (546) Bad night (350)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.

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  (859): I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around. http://tfl.nu/gi2p
  Replies (1) Good night (510) Bad night (256)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.

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  (765): Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day. http://tfl.nu/7q3y
  Replies (1) Good night (200) Bad night (275)

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