I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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