Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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