...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize
