we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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