I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
