this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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