I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
