I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I think my fart just growled at me.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
