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Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
