I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize