So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
