FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
