Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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