i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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