nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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