apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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