Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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