Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
