just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
