I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
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Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
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Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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