You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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