Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
