Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
