I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
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I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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