erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
