Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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