i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
