where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
