Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Can Purell be used as lube?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
