why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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