I want to walk on stilts...naked
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
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He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
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He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back