like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
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She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
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Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?