I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella