So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.