the new term for farting is butt boxing.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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