need another drink. this is the easiest way
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
