just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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