i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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