I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
