I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize
