Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Randomize
