Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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