and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize