I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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