just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
