dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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