what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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