singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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