I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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