this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.