How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.