is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
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I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
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Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...