I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
