I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
