Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
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