Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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