well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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