just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Randomize