You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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