So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
