TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
