I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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