im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
