I hate all girls vehemently.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
