Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
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I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
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Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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